I don’t remember when I first heard about polyvagal theory, but it absolutely clicked for me. A real lightbulb moment. It explained so much.

Why did I feel extraverted and playful sometimes, and other times, I’d mumble and struggle to make eye contact? According to the theory, my nervous system has a sort of “gas and brakes” function.

Depending on my own state and cues from the environment, I’ll either ramp up (sympathetic) or cool down (parasympathetic). In a healthy person, there’s a constant flux between these two states; allowing us to adapt more precisely to the context of our environment.

In polyvagal theory, they call this state the sense of safety.

I loved this idea for many reasons. One, it helped me make sense of my own experiences; offering a solid, logical and intellectual set of explanations.

In some ways, my research into Polyvagal was generative: it encouraged me to explore finding safety and ease within movement. This helped me to find balance within my parkour, which had often focused on intensity of challenge.

On the other hand, my own experience of the research was - on reflection - highly intellectual. And the irony was, I actually didn’t feel safe interpersonally, whilst I pursued a sense of safety in movement.

Despite considerable criticism from Paul Grossman and others, I do believe PVT can offer some important insights. For example, the importance of sensory cues in feeling safe; such as the touch, vocal and facial expressions of another person.

Most relevant for me, seeing through the perspective of polyvagal theory helped me to understand the slow process of recovering from a major injury between 2019-2020. It took time to feel safe again, and required an exploration deeper than muscle and brick.